shut your pie hole (and other MYOB cards)

A dear friend of mine (let's call her "Sassy") and her husband have chosen to grow their family through adoption. Recently, Sassy posted the following message on her Facebook: "I love these cards! I needed them last week when a cashier asked me, "What happened to his mom? Did she just leave??" Her post was accompanied by a link to the cards immediately below by artist and adoptive parent Jodi Queenan: (To my designer friends, please excuse the indiscretionary use of Zapfino. This post gets better, I promise...)

My immediate response to Sassy, who I have named appropriately, was that she needed something a little "sassier." If you know Sassy, you'd understand that cards with birds, hearts, and kindly-phrased sentiments on adoption would not be the first thing she might dole out to a prying cashier. I decided to whip together some modified cards for her (not available for sale – please note that these are intentionally designed to look like the original cards by Jodi Queenan, and I am in no way claiming creative license to them). Because truthfully, getting Sassy to laugh is on my weekly bucket list.

Behold, I share with you the Sassy-inspired "MYOB" cards... complete with grocery bag mini envelopes to discretely hold (and seal) your special message while you make your exit. With a smile on your face.

All of this has of course gotten me thinking about a whole line of passive-aggressive notes that could be handed out in similar situations by not only adoptive parents, but by parents with large families ("Are they ALL yours!?"), mothers of children with abnormally large heads ("Did you deliver him naturally? Once you've had a baby like that, you're NEVER the same..."), and of course to parents who insist on showing off their extraordinary parenting skills while your toddler chooses to forget his words and simply grunt ("Haven't you heard of the Elimination Communication Method? Our Anabelle has been potty-trained since she was THREE months old!). Myself, I've personally found myself in two out of three of these scenarios: I have just one child who looks like Charlie Brown, and still wears diapers at 2 years old.

What about you? If you could have a passive-aggressive note on hand, what would it say? Who would be the lucky recipient? Please share your comments... the lucky winner(s) may receive custom notes of their own. Grin.